Do you react or do you respond to a situation? Do you know the difference between Reaction v/s Response? Have you ever noticed your behaviour when you are in a problem? Is it reactive or responsive most of the times? The difference between the two could well be the difference between right and wrong, success and failure, happiness and unhappiness. Not only will being responsive make a difference to your overall results, it will also leave you feeling more confident and joyful about your life choices and actions while you are still on your way to your desired goals.
Let’s find out how to overcome this tendency to react in haste-
1. Know the difference between Reaction and Response
Reaction– A reaction is an instant behaviour. It comes immediately based on a person’s emotions and feelings at that particular moment. Since it comes so instantly, it is driven by one’s subconscious mind beliefs and prejudices. When you do or say something without thinking, it’s the subconscious mind controlling you rather than you controlling the situation before you.
When we react very quickly in the moment, we don’t take into consideration long term effects of what we say or do. It’s more like a defence mechanism to just cope with what is being said or done. Thus very often, a reaction is something we regret later especially when we look back at what happened.
Response- A response on the other hand generally comes more slowly. It involves some thinking and reflection. It’s based on information from both the subconscious mind and conscious mind. A response will be more balanced as it takes into consideration the cause and effect of whatever is happening. It weighs the long term effects and stays in line with your core values. Response is thus based equally on both reason and emotions. Such healthy balance between the two allows one to do things that we don’t later regret. Most often than not, we feel happy to have done what we could to handle the situation.
2. Observe your behaviour and results closely
Take a close look at your life, your past reactions and behaviour. Do you regret saying or doing things in impulse? Do you think taking time to respond could have done you more good in your relationships, business and work?
List down all the incidences from your life when you reacted too quickly and acted in haste. Write the outcomes of each of these experiences. As you do, you will realize they did not serve you any good. You will come to understand that most of your impulsive reactions have been unnecessary and sometimes even harmful leaving you bitter and guilty. Starting today, use these words to remind yourself to correct your behaviour in the future. “ Whenever I am too quick to react, I give away my power to whatever it is that I am reacting to, I lose control over what is happening, I allow the situation to overwhelm me, From today I choose to stay in control of myself, I will respond appropriately and act sensibly.”
3. Understand the “Why” in your behaviour
You are aware that you react too quickly and you have also reflected on how that needs to change, that’ good but not enough to bring about change. You need to take it deeper to the question, “Why” you do it. To overcome behaviour that almost runs on autopilot, reflect and understand what’s behind your impulsive reaction and behaviour most of the times. What were/are you feeling most of the times? What do you believe or think about yourself, others and the world in general?
Your thoughts become your reality. Whatever you hold in your mind on a consistent basis is exactly what you will experience in your life. Problems arise because of our tendency to imagine things based on our past experiences. So often our reactions are a result of our anxiety and insecurities. Write your anxious thoughts down on paper. Writing them down is a powerful way to take away energy from them. Convert each negative thought to a positive statement and repeat them as affirmations to yourself daily.
4. Practice till it becomes a Habit
We have all heard of the phrase, “Practice makes a man perfect.” Like all other things, for success and fulfilment in life too, you have to Practice responding to what is happening around you rather than reacting in haste to situations and challenges thrown at you. This can be done by thinking about what is happening and reflecting on it in Silence.
For example if someone said something that has offended you, responding to this would mean you wonder why he or she said it. Ask yourself questions like, “is it really true?” ”If yes, then maybe doing something about it would help me only in the process” if it’s not true, then why should I feel bad about it, people will always have opinions and judgements, not everybody is going to like me or believe in me, why should I let their comments or remarks lower my morale and spirit?” In such situations, You can then respond thoughtfully by saying, “Well we all have our opinions I understand but i think differently”.
When you think then respond in this manner, you won’t come from a space of anger, rather you will come from a space of confidence. You end up handling the situation very gracefully. You won’t say or do things you will later regret. Most importantly, you will not give away your most precious possession- your peace of mind!
The next time something upsets you, be aware that you have to respond and stay in charge of the situation rather than react and lose control over yourself and the situation.
To your Success
Dr Karishma Ahuja
There is great power in Letting go of the past. Forgiveness 21 days course will help you to stop looking back and instead feel lighter and happier in the present, bringing you more success and peace. Start your cleaning journey here: Forgiveness 21 days course.
The World is a reflection of your thoughts, memories and beliefs. Do you know most of your deep rooted beliefs come from your environment and early childhood? Inner child Therapy course with Dr Ahuja involves personal coaching and therapy to help you overcome specific incidents, mental blockages and emotional disturbances with respect to your past. Sign Up here: Inner Child Therapy course:
About Dr Karishma Ahuja
Dr. Karishma Ahuja is a Metaphysical teacher specializing in Law of Attraction, Forgiveness practices and Inner child healing therapy based on the Hawaiian Problem solving technique of Ho’oponopono. She has coached thousands of children and adults over the last 16 years and offers various courses and personal coaching programs on manifestation, mind power, energy cleaning and positive thinking. Dr Ahuja writes a weekly Colum for the Hindustan Times and shares her inputs for success on various media portals like Times of India, Zee News, Midday, Tax Guru, etc. She is the author of 2 popular Self help books – “The Healing Power of Words” and “The Healing Power of Gratitude.”
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