Many of us may have people in our lives who we term as negative because of their outlook and approach towards life and things. We may also feel that their energy brings us down and lowers our own spirit. Worse, you may have also observed that their attitude and moods are influencing you too and affecting your peace of mind. Negativity breeds more negativity. You could even take on some of the same negative qualities you resent in a person if you do not take charge of your energy and find a way to deal with such people.
Here are some helpful tips-
1. Keep your Power with you:
Don’t allow a negative person to dictate your emotions because that gives them much power to pull you down. Understand this that you are responsible for your mood and feelings—don’t let anyone else make you feel bad. The moment you get upset, reflect on how you are feeling, then remind yourself that you always have a choice to agree to or not accept someone’s point of view and opinions.
Here’s an easy way to mindfully decide whether you should accept the thought or reject the feeling someone is giving you. Ask yourself the following questions –Is this helping me improve or pulling me down? Is it taking me closer to my dreams and goals or not? Is it coming from their experience or their prejudice? Is it motivating me or blocking me with doubt and fear? When you ask yourself these questions, you automatically protect yourself from mindlessly absorbing the person’s energy and vibe. Besides such an exercise also creates within you empathy and compassion for the person holding such negative views rather than expressing anger or frustration for not being able to do anything about their behaviour or actions.
2. Fix your own Negativity:
The World is a reflection of your thoughts and feelings. If you find yourself constantly surrounded by negative people and behaviour, remind yourself it’s time to fix your own negativity lying within you. Nothing can show up in your life unless you have invited it vibrationally. Our subconscious mind is a storehouse of memories. It continues to replay the memories of the past on the screen of our minds and lives. These memories begin to fill up our vibration and dictate our feelings and actions. If we do not consciously try to shift our thoughts, we will keep attracting people and circumstances that match the energy of the thoughts currently going within us. So instead of complaining about other people and their negativity, start to clean up your own mind by feeding yourself good thoughts and ideas.
Write down daily how you want your day and life to be. Write it in the present tense so you can already start feeling the positive difference with their energy. For example,
it’s a very good world
People are very kind and helpful
I spend my day peacefully and joyfully
I attract positive people at all times
Everyone appreciates and respects me
I think positive thoughts
People around me are always happy and cheerful
I achieve success in everything I do.
If you start engaging with these thoughts daily, instead of being pulled into someone’s negativity you will lift others to your level of positivity and optimism.
3. Maintain Distance:
It may not always be possible to completely cut off from people who are negative and have the wrong attitude. Sometimes however for your own peace and health, it may be necessary. Follow your inner guidance in such cases. While you are away, use that time to build up some positivity and confidence within you. Don’t think simply being away from that environment will change your own energy and solve all your problems. You will still have to do the work of cleaning up your own mind.
At times, when It’s a relative, friend or colleague you must endure, distance yourself emotionally while remaining cordial. If you have to engage with this person, bless the person mentally to ensure no negativity or discomfort overwhelms you. Be pleasant while keeping a safe distance between you and them. Remember, you don’t need to be impolite or rude but you should be unapologetic about choosing your company. It’s your right to choose people you want to be with. So go ahead and take the right decisions that soothe your soul and inspire your spirit.
4. Talk it out if it’s someone close to you:
If it’s a loved one who has become increasingly negative, It may be helpful to choose a good time to have a one to one chat with them. Speak lovingly and kindly while you let them know how their behavior and comments affect you. Use words like, “I want you to know that I care for you and our relationship and so I am speaking to you about it, We may not realize it but when we always talk about how everything’s going wrong, we make others around us feel pessimistic and low too, when we keep complaining, we keep attracting more things to complain about, that’s the law of energy – what we put out in thoughts and words, comes right back at us, Can you and I from today consciously try to focus on good things, can we speak more about what’s going well, this is important for our health and wellbeing, can we?”
Let the other person feel your warmth and concern as you speak these words. If you notice in the words we speak above, we are not pointing fingers at the other person and trying to make the person feel bad. Instead we are saying, it’s a collective responsibility and we will do this together. This allows the other person’s subconscious mind to respond positively to your request. Of-course it will require patience but with sincere efforts you will see positive changes in them as well as in yourself.
5. Look for the Positives in others:
Even in people who you perceive as negative, there is always something positive you will find. Try to find something good in them especially when your mind is busy blaming, criticizing and resenting them or their behavior. Everyone, no matter who they are, have something that can be appreciated. Maybe they complain a lot, maybe they speak harshly and insensitively, but they may also be doing something better than you and that could be something worthy of appreciation. Here it’s not about identifying some good in them and simply trying to gain their approval and complimenting them to maintain harmony in the relationship. Sure if you feel like go ahead and appreciate them verbally. However what we are talking about here is mentally identifying good qualities in a person and shifting your focus about the person from negative to positive. A great way to do that is list down in your diary daily one good quality you appreciate in this negative person.
If you continue this practice daily for next 3 months, you will be amazed to see how their negativity doesn’t affect you anymore. Infact some people after this exercise start to actually see positive changes in the other person. This is the power of our thoughts. What we focus on grows stronger in our life.
From today, focus on good things and you will certainly attract more happy situations and pleasant outcomes in your life.
To your Success
Dr Karishma Ahuja
There is great power in Letting go of the past. Forgiveness 21 days course will help you to stop looking back and instead feel lighter and happier in the present, bringing you more success and peace. Start your cleansing journey here: Forgiveness 21 days course.
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About Dr Karishma Ahuja
Dr. Karishma Ahuja is a Metaphysical teacher specializing in Law of Attraction, Forgiveness practices and Inner child healing therapy based on the Hawaiian Problem solving technique of Ho’oponopono. She has coached thousands of children and adults over the last 16 years and offers various courses and personal coaching programs on manifestation, mind power, energy cleaning and positive thinking. Dr Ahuja writes a weekly Colum for the Hindustan Times and regularly shares her inputs for success on various media portals like The Times of India, Zee News, Midday, Tax Guru etc. She is the author of 2 popular Self help books – “The Healing Power of Words” and “The Healing Power of Gratitude.”
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