Have you ever felt that sometimes you do things even if you don’t want to do them, simply because you cannot say “No”. Do you feel you end up doing things that are not really adding value to your life in anyway either out of fear or for simply wanting to please others. How often do you do not feel good doing something yet you go ahead and do it to gain people’s acceptance?
Sometimes a “No” can bring a big “Yes” into your life. Learning how to say “No” to people and even things will allow you time to focus on yourself, on your own priorities and goals.
Here are few tips to do this more effectively and successfully.
1. Understand this – Saying “No” does not Make You a Bad Person
Learning how to say “No” is not being arrogant or disrespectful. It simply means that you care about prioritizing your time and energy. It is about using your intellect and power to discriminate between what is right and wrong and then deciding whether to do it or not. Such that you are able to devote you time and energy to the things that matter the most to you. It is about releasing the need to feel obligated to do something simply because you want to be in somebody else’s good books. If this habit continues you will not stay true to your own heart and even make wrong choices and decisions in your life which will affect you negatively the most in the long run. Thus saying no when necessary becomes important for your own self love and respect.
2. How you communicate your “No” to others really matters.
We cannot always oblige others but we can always speak obligingly. This means most of the fear we have about saying no is that it may negatively impact our relationship with that person. But this is only true if we don’t effectively and appropriately communicate our reasons to the other person. Speak politely and kindly at all times. Let the other person know that you would love to do what they requested but you are already committed to something else or that you would prefer not to do it because it is not something you resonate with. Remember positive and truly worthy people wouldn’t take your ‘No’ so personally. It is thus important to surround yourself with people who respect your opinions and value your choices.
3. Prepare a list
Create a “Stop-Doing” List. Think of all the things you regularly say “yes” to, that take up a lot of your time and energy without making you happier, healthier or even supporting you in your goals. Basically take some time out to list out all the things you need to stop doing and make the firm commitment to yourself to NOT doing them anymore from this moment onwards. This may not necessarily be only about doing things for others. It may be about some habits you wish to give up. For example spending too much time on internet, talking excessively on the phone, procrastinating doing important things and so on.
Whatever those unproductive time wasters may be, first get clear on what they are and then make the commitment to not do them anymore. Put a Cross – ‘X” over all these unproductive things on your list. Every morning when you wake up, remind yourself, you are saying No to these unhealthy things and that you are saying a big “YES” to your success, health, prosperity and overall Wellbeing.
4. Use Positive Affirmations:
Affirmations help develop a positive mindset through the power of words. They also help one in changing old belief patterns and habits. You can reprogram your subconscious mind by affirming in the ‘Present’ something that is desired by you. For example, it can be helpful using an affirmation like, “Today I choose positive thoughts and actions.” Using such a statement repeatedly will help form positive images in your mind about spending your day more productively, performing worthy actions. In this way, You will give a direction to your subconscious mind through your Words. It will follow this direction and keep bringing you experiences that match these positive words. Affirmations will thus help you to build your self esteem and self confidence allowing you to stand up for yourself and say ‘No’ when necessary.
Dr Karishma Ahuja, PhD
For a Complete Guide on Law of Attraction and Manifestation, Visit here: Law of Attraction Online.
About Dr Karishma Ahuja
Dr Ahuja is a renowned Metaphysical Counselor and Life coach specializing in the topics of Law of Attraction, Ho’oponopono, Forgiveness and Inner child therapy. She is an Author and Therapist who has helped thousands of people over the last 15 years through her consultations, talks, seminars and trainings.
For a one to one consultation, visit: Personal Coaching page