No matter who you are or what you do, you may have faced the fear of rejection at some point to one degree or another in your life. You might fear not getting the promotion you need, the job you really want, the deal that you have put your heart into, a relationship proposal you made or even speaking in public. Rejection is the feeling of being left out, not being accepted, or simply not being good enough. Although it is something we feel emotionally but it can be as painful as physical pain for the helplessness it triggers within.
We are social beings. We have a desire to build connections and feel like we belong and matter. Sometimes rejection can hit so hard that it can shake up our inner confidence and self worth. If we don’t deal with it, we will keep carrying this energy of being unloved and unaccepted and sometimes, we may feel rejected and low even if someone didn’t have any intention of pulling us down. We become bitter, overly sensitive and defensive simply because we think everyone is against us and that we are not worth it.
Some amount of anxiousness is natural but when your fear of rejection prevents you from progressing in your career, building new relationships, or having good self-esteem, then it’s a sign you need to learn how to overcome this fear.
Here are 3 tips to help you overcome your fear of rejection and live your life to its fullest:
1. Reject Negative Self-talk
It’s easy to get stuck into a pattern of self-criticism and self pity after experiencing rejection. You may get thoughts like, “I knew I would be rejected”, “I always make a fool of myself”, “I am so dumb”, “I am unlucky.” etc
But these thoughts will only further reinforce your belief that the rejection was your fault or that of your destiny. You will keep yourself in the failure mode. Even in future you will attract rejections because you believe you are not good enough, smart enough or ever capable of making it big. In such cases, Positive thinking can help improve your perspective. When you consciously engage in empowering thoughts and ideas, you feel more hopeful and confident. You start to believe in your own potential to achieve your goals.
2. Reflect on Rejections calmly
It may not seem like it right away, but rejection can actually provide opportunities for you to grow and discover more about yourself. Say you apply for a job, you work very hard for it and even have a great interview, but you don’t get the job. This might frustrate you at first. But if you think about it calmly, you may realize you could do certain things better like brush up on some skills, learn how to use a new type of software, rewrite your resume, learn to speak more confidently and so on.
This attitude of always looking at what more could be done rather than grumbling or feeling bad about what happened is what makes the difference between success and failure. You will infact not lose hope and instead encourage yourself to apply more confidently the next time. This is important as a lot of us in fear of rejection sit back in fear and avoid taking action out of disappointment and low self-esteem. With this “open to learn” approach, you will see that many new doors and opportunities are opening up for you, which are even bigger and better than the previous ones you got rejected for.
3. Deal with your Insecurities
How you feel about yourself contributes to your fear of rejection. If you hold feelings like shame, guilt, unworthiness or self-doubt, you are more likely to fear not being accepted. These feelings gets so deep rooted in your vibration that they dictate your action., behavior and performance. A low vibration always= Negative result. How to deal with these feelings?
Firstly identify if you are reacting from your insecurities. A quick way to know is to check for some obvious signs in your behavior- avoiding eye contact, feeling anxious, getting very defensive, difficulty expressing your views or communicating openly, not feeling equal to others in a conversation, trying to be like someone else instead of yourself and so on.
Secondly, if you do realize you hold these insecurities, then try to look within and spend some time with your own self in silence daily to connect with yourself better. If you don’t spend time with yourself or love yourself, how can you expect others to accept and love you?
Boost your confidence further by
- Recognizing what are your strengths, what are you good at.
- Surrounding yourself with positive people and messages.
- Learning how to say no especially if it’s something that does not resonate with you.
- Being kind to yourself by Forgiving yourself.
- Taking good care of yourself.
- Engaging in positive self-talk daily.
- Practicing Gratitude daily for your life, body, skills, talents and gifts.
Remember, every thought has the potential to become a reality but not all thoughts turn into reality. Only those thoughts that you think and believe with conviction ultimately Manifest themselves into your life. Does not matter if what you believe is true or false. It will at once start to take form in your life.
If you believe you deserve good things and take action when guided, you will achieve great success in your life. Your fears will never stop you from living your best life!
Cheers
Dr Karishma Ahuja
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About Dr Karishma Ahuja
Dr. Karishma Ahuja is a Metaphysical teacher specializing in Law of Attraction, Forgiveness practices and Inner child healing therapy based on the Hawaiian Problem solving technique of Ho’oponopono. She has coached thousands of children and adults over the last 16 years and offers various courses and personal coaching programs on manifestation, mind power, energy cleaning and positive thinking. Dr Ahuja writes a weekly Colum for the Hindustan Times and shares her inputs for success on various media portals like Times of India, Zee News, Midday, Tax Guru, etc. She is the author of 2 popular Self help books – “The Healing Power of Words” and “The Healing Power of Gratitude.”
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